


even heaven has its ends

by astaeria



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Bad Ending, M/M, mark's parents thinks that mark has other things to focus on, markchan, markhyuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2018-12-20 20:52:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11929041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astaeria/pseuds/astaeria
Summary: in a life, there will always be a happy moment,it could last for one second, two minutes, a few days, and so on. nevertheless, there will always be one.of course, we can't always have it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> SURPRISE!  
> there are a lot of things going on at the moment, so i can't update a lot. this was written to make it up to y'all.  
> enjoy! :)

ever since taeyong told the group about gathering together and meeting their manager in the meeting room at the entertainment building, donghyuck had been shaking in his shoes and silently suffering.

despite being the sun of the group (or so almost everyone thought), he couldn't help but frown as a million different thoughts were flooding his mind: overthought questions, unfathomable answers, and the like. it was as if he had a broken faucet in his brain that acted as its big bathtub—one where he knew he could drown in any moment.

as he slowly sank in it, he heard a faint voice calling him again and again, reeling him back to reality.

"donghyuck! dong—ah, haechan!"

donghyuck blinked, fully back to his senses as he heard the nickname that his lips could have curved into a smile at if it wasn't for the anxiety that was keeping it down.

he turned his head. by the door, he saw doyoung, who seemed to have leaned against the door and waited a while only to be noticed.

"we're leaving now," doyoung said as he stood up straight, as if to tell donghyuck that he was ready to leave.

donghyuck took the hint and stood up, walking and following doyoung as he made his way out of the dorm, where the others were waiting with the vans.

once they were complete, the group started climbing in the cars and seating on the seats they usually take in a lethargic manner. it was as if they didn't want to leave, which made donghyuck think that he wasn't the only one who was feeling nervous about the whole meeting the manager thing.

donghyuck suddenly felt a small itch on his mouth that was growing bigger and bigger by the second, tempted to talk to someone to let his feelings out.

out of reflex, donghyuck stood out of his seat, turned around, then kneeled on it, doing all of this in a smooth manner, even when their car was already moving. he opened his mouth to talk to the person that always sat behind him, only to see that he wasn't there.

donghyuck felt his heart clench at the sight. he looked at the person sitting next to it, jaehyun, who was looking back at him with a frown twisting his face.

"he's not here," he told donghyuck. "i heard that he headed out before we did."

once he had registered everything jaehyun told him, donghyuck simply nodded and sat back down, feeling even more uneasy without his friend around.

sure, he had more than ten people surrounding him, all in different ages and personalities, but to be honest, none of them could ever fit in the hole that he placed in him.

everyone tended to joke about how they were almost inseparable, as if they were chained and connected with invisible cuffs on their wrists. donghyuck tended to laugh it off and sometimes even deny it as a joke, but even then, he knew it was true.

they've spent so much time together—from their pre-teen days to their present days—that having him not near him makes him feel uncomfortable, incomplete.

sometimes, it actually hurted his heart and affected him, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

it was as dangerous.

he knew that well.

...and he was scared of it.

where was he?

what happened to him?

out of the sudden, donghyuck shook his head, forcibly pushing away all of the thoughts that were attacking him all at once.

ridiculous.

i mean, things don't always go through the bad way in meetings, right?

right?


	2. Chapter 2

"what do you think is the reason why he called us?"

"i don't know. what do you think is the reason why he called us?"

"i don't know either."

"i'm scared."

donghyuck bit his lip as he unintentionally eavsdropped the conversation between jaemin and jeno.

he wanted to turn to them and laugh at them and tell them something like _what a bunch of chickens!_ , but at that moment, where everyone was sitting around a discussion table under the stuffy atmosphere, he could think of at that moment was _i'm scared, too_.

suddenly, the deafening silence was broken by a hinge creaking as a door was opened. then, there stepped in a man they were all too familiar with to forget; their manager.

the group stood up from their seats and greeted him in chorus as a sign of respect. their manager nodded, as if to acknowledge this.

"take your seats everyone," he said in a dead serious tone, which they anxiously obliged.

then, their manager suddenly started small talk with the group, which they responded to with utter hesitation in their tones, but as their talk had become longer and longer, it had become fainter and fainter.

however, that didn't mean it disappeared.

donghyuck, who was still as silent as ever, watched as the people around him tossed questions and answers and the like around, as if nothing was happening.

he wanted to butt in, to say something, but he couldn't. he knew there was something holding him back from doing it, but he didn't know what it was.

suddenly, one of the younger members of the group—actually, the youngest member in the group—raised his hand, making everyone fall silent as their attention went from someone to him.

"what is it, jisung?" their manager asked.

"i'm sorry if i'm interrupting anything," jisung said in a soft and stuttering manner, as if nervous. "but may i ask if mark hyung is around?"

donghyuck wanted to hug jisung on the spot that time. he looked from jisung to their manager, hoping for an answer.

as soon as he saw how his whole body tensed, donghyuck knew their manager knew something, and that something wasn't something nice.

"ah, about that," the manager said. he heaved a sigh and stood up from his seat, worry plastering the whole of his middle-aged face.

"as you noticed, one of your members, mark lee, wasn't with you ever since yesterday," he started. "does anyone know why?"

johnny raised his hand, then answered: "he told us that he was going to be staying with his parents for a while."

"correct," the manager pointed out.

donghyuck's shoukders slouched. why didn't he know? he doesn't remember anything about being notified about his temporary departure.

"apparently, there's more to that."

donghyuck watched as the manager turned to the door. "i think it would be better if the explanation came from him himself."

everyone's eyes then turned to the door, which slowly opened, revealing mark lee stepping inside the room.

donghyuck's heart leaped out of his chest at the sight of him, but he couldn't tell whether it was a positive thing or negative thing, because he saw how he seemed frustrated and nervous.

"hey, everyone," mark muttered so softly that his words could have flown with the ice cold wind produced by the air conditioner.

"so while i was away," he started after taking a deep breath. "i talked to my parents about some stuff, like how my job was going, and how my school was going, and how my life was going in general."

"of course, i told them the truth. i told them that it was tiring, that everything was tiring, physically, mentally, and emotionally, but even then, it was all worth it, because it was what i wanted to be, where i wanted to be."

mark heaved a sigh, looking down and playing with his shaky hands as he couldn't take the stares that were being buried into him as he told them the story.

how was he going to tell them?

"what happened?" ten asked, telling him to go on.

"they must have not heard the last part of my statement, because they suddenly became angry."

the silence was then stuffed with murmurs and whispers, but then, it died down, which mark took as a signal to go on.

"they told me that i was too young to be in a state like this. they told me that i was still a young adult, and i should full on focus on my studies instead. i told them that it was okay, but they told me that it wasn't, and that they were going to do things in order for me to live in a proper way."

silence enveloped the room.

"what does that mean?" taeil asked.

mark bit his lip and closed his eyes, mustering up all the courage that he knew he didn't have. he opened his eyes again and looked up at the group, spilling out a sentence he wished he never had to say.

"i'm leaving sm entertainment."


	3. Chapter 3

as soon as those three words came out of mark’s mouth, the atmosphere in the room became silent. so silent that mark wanted to shout things at them, like “hey! why are you so silent all of the sudden?! talk! shout! say something!” but a big lump was blocking his throat, making him unable to talk, much less breathe properly, so all he could do was look down at his sneakers and wiggle his toes out of nervousness as his tears silently trickled down his cheeks and fell, landing on the floor.

 

out of the sudden, he felt something wrap around him and squeeze him so hard that he thought his soul was going to escape from his body. he looked back up and saw that the members of the group, starting from the younger half to the older half, were hugging him, either simply carrying small and silent tears in their eyes or already hysterically sobbing, like it was the last time they’ll see each other (which wasn’t, but close.)

 

“you can’t leave, hyung!” chenle cried, tightening his hug around mark. “you can’t!”

 

“we can’t do anything about it, chenle,” taeyong muttered under his shaky breath while putting a hand on chenle’s shoulder and another on mark’s shoulder. “it was his parents’ choice. not his, not ours.”

 

“have you already terminated your contract?” johnny asked mark.

 

“the news about the termination of his contract is out on the internet, but it hasn’t happened yet,” their manager answered for the latter. “fortunately, mark asked for one more week to be with you.”

 

“one week?! that’s not enough!” exclaimed sicheng.

 

“then let’s make the most of it!” proposed yuta. “with a party!”

 

_ a party _ , donghyuck thought as he remained silent and seated, with unstoppable sorrow flowing out of his eyes in the form of tears. 

 

_ a farewell forever party. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is it 12 am? hell yeah it’s 12 am  
> did i stay up late just to finish this chapter? hell yeah i stayed up late just to finish this chapter  
> do i want to write more? hell yeah i want to write more
> 
> anyway enjoy

days has passed by like the gentlest breeze flying through everything everywhere, unnoticed by everyone.

the group had been too busy preparing for the party they were throwing for a certain member whilst making the most of their moments together, as if it was their last.

at least, most of the group.

since the announcement, donghyuck had been staying behind in different ways, such as locking himself out in his room, or slowing his walking pace down to be in the back whenever he was forced to not do the former, all because he had to isolate himself from everything and everyone, especially from the certain person that was mentioned earlier.

it was ironic; he himself knew that being separated from him was a big danger to his state, yet it was if being together with him was also one.

that messed his mind up to the point where he couldn't think of any other way to deal with how he was feeling, despite all of the ways that were too obvious to ignore, so all he stayed with what his messed up mind had thought of: stay in his room and cry with no one but silence by his side.

besides, in the end, that was what was going to happen, anyway.

upon lifting his head up to look at his pillow, which held evidences of his endless sorrow, donghyuck heard his phone vibrate against the wooden surface of his bedside table. he laid his head back down on his wet pillow with it turned to the side and lethargically reached his hand out for his phone.

once he had a hold of his device, he unlocked it and took a look at what it had to show him—

 _1 messages from_ **makeuree** _!_  
_read?_  
yes |  no

only to lock it again.

even then, his phone kept vibrating under his shaky hand, whilst his urge to open it again kept growing.

eventually, he did.

 _23 messages from_ **makeuree** _!_

 _read?_  
yes | no

 **makeuree**  
• donghyuck  
• lee donghyuck

 **makeuree**  
• why didn't you go with them today  
• why don't you ever go with them nowadays

 **makeuree**  
• why are you always in your room

 **makeuree**  
• what's happening to you

 **makeuree**  
• are you okay  
• are you hurt  
• or something

 **makeuree**  
• are you avoiding me  
• you are, aren't you?

 **makeuree**  
• oh  
• okay  
• it's okay  
• it's my fault anyway

 **makeuree**  
• anyway  
• the party is tomorrow  
• so  
• i hope you come  
• i mean it's okay if you don't attend the actual thing  
• if you won't then at least meet me after it somewhere in the basketball court nearby the dorm

 **makeuree**  
• please donghyuck  
• please

 _reply?_  
yes |  no

 _are you sure about turning your phone off?_  
yes | no


	5. Chapter 5

it was already the day of the party, and as expected, the group's dorm was at its noisiest. loud music accompanied with loud voices, suddenly announcing things and then cheering and laughing because of whatever it was.

despite the rowdiness, though, the group knew that the party wasn't complete, because physically, the group was complete, but figuratively, it wasn't.

the one person who could have been the life of the party was ironically not participating, all because he hated the idea of what was going to happen after all the mess dies.

donghyuck sat by the very side of the room, his slowly dying phone in one hand and a cup of used-to-be-cold beverage in another.

he had done his best to ignore everyone who was trying to convince him to come out of his chair, which wasn't a whole lot, since most of the group were too intimidated to.

he couldn't blame them, though.

it was really unusual to see him in such a state like this. truth be told, they could have let him be, but they wished he wasn't like that at the time where they needed his cheerful self the most.

besides that, they wished for a few more things:

1) they wished that donghyuck would stop being so stupid, sulking around like that. they knew perfectly that he had something for a certain someone, and they thought that he shouldn't have acted so cold and avoided the situation, because in the end, the same thing was going to happen.

2) they wished that they could have told him about it sooner. donghyuck could have been with mark at the moment, shouting and smiling and laughing together like the head-over-heels in love duo that they were before.

3) lastly, they wished that the two would at least do something together before they separate, whether for good or not.

4) they wished that they won't separate for good.

out of all the four wishes, only one was going to be granted.

 _2 messages from_ **markeuree** _!_  
 _read?_  
yes | no

 **makeuree**  
• meet me at the basketball court  
• please

 _reply?_  
yes | no

donghyuck looked up, eyes wide at the sight of the party venue empty. all that was there were used cups and plates, confetti, turned over furniture, and the like.

as soon as he had recovered from his shock, he slowly stood up and let his feet take him to where we needed, but somehow both wanted and not wanted, to go.

donghyuck felt like every single part of him, from his body to his soul, was being dragged down by gravity more and more with every step he took. he hung his head as he walked, staring at the rough stone floor and wishing that it would open up and swallow him down all of the sudden.

once he had arrived, donghyuck stood under one of the hoops, almost relieved to see that it was empty until he saw the tall figure that came in the scene.

the sad figure turned around and showed his pretty face that was plastered with a smile, probably attempting to cover the sadness embedded in his eyes.

"hey, hyuckie."

 


	6. Chapter 6

"hey, hyuckie."

donghyuck's heart swelled in his chest. the way his nickname rolled off mark's tongue used to make him melt into a puddle, but now, he was confused about whether to become soft with happiness or sadness, because it could be the last time he'll hear that nickname come out from his mouth.

"hey," donghyuck muttered under his breath, barely understandable.

mark started slowly approaching him. "apologies about not being able to look for a more private place to talk."

he stopped right in front of donghyuck. "besides, i had to come and visit this place again, for old times' sake."

donghyuck's lips could have curved into even a slight smile at mark's statement, knowing the message behind it; he thought about their rounds of basketball that the two always did during their free time, even when donghyuck was more of a soccer person. he remembered the times he accidentally hit mark with the ball, whether it was on the face, the back, or even at the crotch.

good times indeed.

as the two stood alone, obliviously reminiscing together, silence had almost made its way around the two, but then, donghyuck unexpectedly broke it down.

"do you really have to leave?"

donghyuck looked at mark, wishing that he would answer with something like "nope! all of this was simply a big prank, and you fell for it good like the complete loser you are!" truth be told, he would probably hit him hard. that or he would hug him tight and never let go of him, _then_ hit him hard.

nevertheless, he wished that was the case.

unfortunately, the answer was evident in mark's eyes; his eyes that he dedicated a big part of his schedule only to look at them before; his eyes that he wanted to forget about finding out and looking at now.

"i'm sorry, hyuck," mark simply said.

"shut up."

mark shot donghyuck a look of mixed emotions, specifically confusion and hurt.

"what?"

with that, donghyuck's heart bursted into a high temperature fire, melting down all of the masks he had been wearing. different emotions came in and melted in the fire; anger, utmost sorrow, confusion, frustration, the like.

once he was out of control, he suddenly stepped closer to the older and grabbed the collar of his shirt. he held onto it tight and tried to glare at mark, but mark looked so helpless, so hurt, that it felt like his glare ricocheted.

later on, his grip loosened, and he just ended up sobbing in mark's arms.

"why?" donghyuck cried, tears tricking down his cheeks and staining mark's shirt. "why are you saying sorry? this isn't even your fault."

"i'm saying sorry because i hurt you," mark answered, pulling donghyuck closer to him and crying as well. "and i still am hurting you."

"it's good to know that you know that, you absolute piece of shit."

"why wouldn't i know that? since i found out about what my parents were planning to do, did you think that i would wake up with a smile on my face, even when i knew that you were going to cry? did you think that i would sleep with sweet dreams, even when i knew that you wouldn't even blink an eye? did you think that i would be happy, knowing that i made the sun of my life sad?"

"i can't do any of that, hyuck. i love you too much to hurt you, because it would feel worse than hurting myself."

arms wrapped around the older, donghyuck's hands gripped on the cloth of mark's shirt, pain filling his heart by the moment.

"you're making it so much harder for me to let you go."

donghyuck's ears were filled by soft and sad laughter coming from mark's mouth.

"i know."

moments—seconds—minutes—a half of an hour passed by. the two boys wouldn't have moved from their hugging positions if it wasn't for mark suddenly moving to tell donghyuck something.

"donghyuck," mark said, breaking the hug and holding the hands of donghyuck while looking into the eyes of the latter, obviously dead serious. "i need you to do as i say, okay?"

donghyuck sniffed and nodded, utterly nervous to hear what mark has to say.

mark deeply inhaled, then exhaled.

"as soon as we let go of each other, turn around and leave this place as soon as possible. don't look back at the memories you created with me. don't look back at me. forget about me. i'll do the same."

mark looked up at donghyuck, who was completely shocked and shaking.

"promise me that you'll listen to me."

it took donghyuck seconds to let those sentences sync in his mind. forget about him? forget about all the best and worst memories that he had, because all of them had him? was he out of his mind?

well, judging from the seriousness in his tone, he was.

what could donghyuck do, though? even if he disobeyed, mark would still leave. besides, seeing him leave would be more painful than being the one to leave, wouldn't it?

with utter hesitation, donghyuck nodded.

suddenly, mark slowly leaned in, closing any existing space between his lips and donghyuck's. shocked, donghyuck observed how he seemed to pour over every drop of passion the latter had for the former through the gesture. the small observation made donghyuck's chest feel heavier than ever, but all he could do was kiss back with the same emotion.

if only time could be controlled, then no one would have to leave. no one would have to be sad. no one would have to lay in bed alone. they would be together forever, like how they wanted it to.

sadly, things don't always go your way.

in a blink of an eye, donghyuck immediately pulled away and turned around. before hesitation could appear again in his brain, he ran as fast as he could, with endless tears streaming down his face.

he was simply fulfilling his promise.

oh, but if only he knew that the one who made the promise broke it himself.

his punishment? he was forced to watch the sun of his life leave him in the dark for the very last time.

 


End file.
